The Not-So-Confident Women’s Guide to Rediscovering Her Divine Feminine Power

Do you suffer from low self-esteem and are ready to break through to a happier, more confident you?

There are many potential sources where your feelings of inadequacy may have come from. It’s been said that we spend the last 60 years of life recovering from the first 18. I don’t know about you, but the first 18 years of my life sure gave my self-confidence a beating.

And as we get older, it doesn’t get easier, we just get better at putting up walls and “protecting” our hearts with limiting beliefs and bottled up emotions.

Increasing your confidence is one of the first steps to having it all in your life; your social life, finances, and happiness can all improve once you decide your worth it and step into your divine power.

You’ve all seen them; those women whose smile and radiant energy lights a room. And if you’re ready to stand fully in your power and be the women who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it, the first thing you’ll have to do is determine the cause of your self-esteem challenges:

  1. Peers. This is especially true through the school years, but can apply to adults as well. We have a natural tendency to want to be liked, but there’s always going to be people who you just don’t vibe with. Bullying, teasing, and other social-related issues can be massive contributor to low self-esteem.
  2. Family. Sometimes the people closest to us are the ones who are the hardest on us. It’s not necessarily intentional either. Unsupportive, critical parents or other family members can harm a child’s self-esteem in an unconscious effort to “protect” us and “keep us safe”. This can be then be carried into adulthood. If your parents were less than great, remember that you’re not alone.
  3. Previous mistakes. We all make mistakes, but some people forgive themselves more easily than others. The past is over. The present is a new opportunity to learn from your mistakes and try again. Look forward to new experiences.
  4. Negative thought patterns. Negative recurring thoughts over years and decades can create a negative self-image. That’s why it’s so important to speak positively about your self. Never underestimate the power of your subconscious mind. Become aware of your negative thought patterns and replace them with their positive opposite… even if you don’t quite believe it yet! Act as if, and you’ll start to recreate new neuropathways in the brain and re-train your subconscious mind!
  5. Failure. Whether you failed at your first business idea, didn’t land the big client, or made the worlds worst Christmas dinner, any perceived failure can result in a loss of confidence and self-esteem. Reframe how you view failure. Learn from your undesirable results. Only get upset with yourself if you continue to fail without learning the lesson. Change directions if the current one isn’t working, but never give up. Every big accomplishment started with the decision to try, after all.
  6. Unreasonable goals. Goals that are too big lead to failure. While it’s awesome to aim high, ensure that your goals are challenging, but within reason for you. Start small, and incrementally raise your ceiling as you gain confidence in what you are able to achieve. If the most money you’ve made in a year is $40,000 and you set a goal to make $250,000 in the next 12 months, that goal will subconsciously seem too unattainable and you’ll give up or lose hope. If you set your first goal to be $80,000 in 12 months, that’s still a 50% increase in income in a year! If you achieve it faster than you thought, amazing! Then it’s time to re-evaluate. Nothing is ever set in stone.
  1. Body Image. Society is constantly judging people based on appearances…and you’re likely doing the same to yourself. Strive to move your body toward a healthy ideal, but accept that everyone is shaped differently and change can take time. Learn to love yourself no matter what because true beauty comes from confidence.
  2. Trauma. Sexual, physical, or emotional trauma can result in low self-esteem. If you’re suffering from the results of traumatic experiences, speaking to a professional can be a wise decision.
  3. Poor academic performance. Although school has a very prominent social component, it is supposed to be about the academics. Poor grades can make us feel like we’ve failed at the purpose of attending school in the first place. We all learn in different ways and some of the brightest minds and most successful people in the world never even graduated from highschool. Find out what lights you up, give it your 100% effort and see if your results change.
  4.  Media. Media puts forth images of success and beauty that are out of reach for the average person. It doesn’t help that many of those images are manufactured and inaccurate with layers of filters and that we only post what we want people to see. Don’t hold yourself to an unreasonable standard. You are perfect as you are. You are unique. Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.

Low self confidence is an unfortunately common issue, especially among women. Understanding the cause of your low opinion of yourself can help to determine the solution. Almost everyone deals with low self-esteem at some point in their lives, but letting it persist over a long period of time can lead to depression.

Examine your past and find the source of your negative self-image, then once you’ve got a strong awareness about why you feel the way you do, you can use mindfulness tools like positive affirmations, visualizations, and meditation to re-wire your brain to become strong, confident and successful women you were born to be!

Written by Melissa Kuan
Success & Empowerment Coaching for Women